LA? NO WAY!!!

OMG so my cousin that I was doing ‘project swag’ for ages ago (but didn’t end up doing) went to LA (just quietly.. as you do) and boy oh boy did I want to believe that his silly friends were just starting rumors for the sake of it. Anyways, reading between the lines on their fb pages (yes, I must admit to some fb sleuthing) the rumours were actually true. Not too sure why on earth he wanted to keep it on the DL (‘coz he’s the type of person to put his shit on blast most of the time) but that’s what he wanted…

At first, like any person would, envy reared it’s ugly head. I was soooo jealous that he got to go. I mean c’mon, wouldn’t you?
I don’t seem to sound rude, cocky or just plain mean, but I was actually jealous (and ever so slightly distraught) that he go to go because I just don’t deem him cool enough. Do you know where I’m coming from???
It’s like telling someone who thinks they’re uber fashionable because they’re wearing supre from head to toe, that they’ve just won an entire wardrobe of Karen Walker for the next 5 years.

If I were to meet him in LA, I would view him as an ambassador of the young urban pacific in NZ (which no offence, he clearly isn’t). All I kept thinking of was, if only it were ME! I would represent our country and do it proud! Why him? Why was God punishing me? Why was God punishing our nation? (hahaha)

Anyways, photos have recently been posted up on FB and while I was painfully flicking through his all expenses paid for holiday (by his parents) an epiphany came over me… He is 22 years old.. Here he is with his parents, and siblings (that are the ages of 16, 6 and 5) going on tours of Universal Studios, etc etc etc.. Does anyone see what I’m getting at?
Ok seriously, if I was a 22 year old male, and my parents paid for my flights and accommodation to LA I would be getting trashed and fucking some bitches… (and putting that shit up on Facebook!)

So what did I have to be jealous of? Absolutely nothing. I mean what a sweet deal to have it all paid for but fuck going on universal studios tours with my family. I would rather be getting high on the hollywood sign and flashing on the walk of the fame hahahahaha.

I’ve decided to put my jealousy to rest in peace, because one day when I grow up I’m going to pay for my own tickets to LA, and go to The Hundreds Fall street party (get highly intoxicated and score free shit) and one day appear on the photobooth part of their blog too.

Fuck you for going to LA and doing gaybo shit. Fuck you for taking a photo of Justin Barber. Fuck you for writing captions like "the citys of the movies". Fuck you for thinking your sunglasses are cool. They're NOT! And I've even told you to your face!

When I get to LA, I’m tooootally gonna go and be part of the audience of the Tyra Banks show too lmao (Wow I totally aim high in life)

Peace out homies, and keep watching this space for when I eventually get my ass to LA and meet the Game. (I won’t get LA tattooed on my face like him though lmao)