OBSESS MUCH?!

*lolz i just realized they're 2 guys.. i thought it was a guy & a boyish looking girl- hahahaha!)

his friends are settling down.
buying houses together.
starting families.
entering parenthood.
will he follow suit
because everyone else is?
he's not even mine
(never was)
and i'm worried about losing him.
why?
i don't know
i ask myself the same thing over and over.
i'm holding on to something that isn't a reality anymore.
was it ever?
it was once.
but only for a fleeting moment.
or was it just me?
why can't i... won't i... let go?
too much energy and emotion of mine
that is not being returned.
wasted..
why do i know all this but still continue to pursue it?
denial?
probs.
i know better but i don't want to admit it.
and yet,
tonight when i lie in bed
i will think of him.
i will think of the time
that i fell asleep in the warmth and safety of his arms
and pretended that he belonged to me
as i did to him.
and wished that the morning wouldn't come so soon.
wished that i could wake up to his smile every morning.
wished that he was mine.
but he's not.
will he ever be?
more like, could he ever be?
if they continue like the rest of his friends
then no.
maybe that's what i don't wanna loose.
hope.
hope that one day he might be mine.
because that's all i've got to hold on to-
dreams and memories.
dreams of possibilities
and memories of our stolen moments together.



ob·sess (b-ss, b-)
v. ob·sessed, ob·sess·ing, ob·sess·es
v.tr.
To preoccupy the mind of excessively.
v.intr.
To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic

a.k.a: i'm a pshyco haha thanks for the poem tho, i can relate to a couple of lines. (told you i'd chuck it up!)