SHAKE YOUR MONEY MAKER...

what a week it's been!

i can't even lie. i've been far too lazy to blog. however on wednesday night as i was searching through my closet for an appropriate outfit to wear to accompany my friend-boy to a gig in town, i was horrified to realize that nothing fit right anymore. muffin top, love handles, spear tyre, sushi roll, flab, you name it, i've certainly got it. my point being that i've been a lazy ass and i really don't have a reason (but a ton of excuses) for it.

so just like j.c's disciples, i bring you good news!

- i have a job! yusss. (start monday)
- bought a new purple dress that was on sale from $139 to $49 to celebrate my new employment
- new hair colour (gone darker.. i'm still getting used to it)
- heading to palmy for one night only to celebrate khai's 23rd
- it's a sunny day (which is rare for these parts at this time of year) so i'm getting through all my laundry

life has been shit, but it's picking up and i can feel many good times around the corner.

have a happy weekend world.

the end.

LOOK FOR THE RAINBOW IN EVERY STORM...

i'm still searching. i wish you well in all that you do- please don't forget me.

I GOTTA WATCH MY BACK, 'COZ I'M NOT JUST ANYBODY...

i'm not a fan of nikki but i've loved lloyd for a very long time, more recently i've taken i liking to drake, and of course i have to mention the dude near the ends orange tiger pants.

my current home situation has gone from bad to worse. DM's heading for the hills (effective immediately). i'm dissapointed at the fact that it's come to this, and for my own selfish reasons i'm really sad to see her go. however, i'm mad at them both for not growing the balls to just scrap it out ya know? i'll most probably bring that up tonight at our emergency flat meeting.

on the upside, i handed in my CV to portmans and the store manager was telling me she was reading it this morning and was impressed with it and i also got a call back from the BNZ call centre, so job ops are looking hopeful.

i'm also addicted to a new facebook game called nightclub city (i know, the friend boy is so not impressed at the time i spend on fb at the moment).. but it's kinda fun.. maybe i should just go out for real? lolz

peace :)

TWENTY ONE FUN.

not mine (obviously). but i had a fucken awesome time with my cousin whom i haven't had the chance to drink with for ages. considering when i lived back home and was studying him and i were inseperable when the weekend rolled around. a good night had by all ^_^

SHED YOUR SKIN AND LET'S GET STARTED.

i was trying to find a song to cheer me up. instead i found the exit song by hunters and collectors, that we played at my uncles (mumzy's younger brother) funeral in '98. gets me every time. i miss you.

*SIGH*

this feud is affecting me more than i thought it ever would or could. how much of it did i unintentionally fuel? that's not what i ever set out to do.

i try to lead an honest life. it's not easy always being honest. especially when it comes to family, friends, and my boyfriend, but most of all myself. so when i live in an environment where people aren't honest with each other let alone themselves, then it goes against this new "honesty is the best policy" motto i've been trying to live out each day.

i'm not happy. extreamly unhappy is an under-statement. i'm fucken miserable. what i wasn't aware of, (or perhaps i just didn't want to know) is that it's affecting my relationship with my friend boy who has just recently moved in. that shit is scary, because it has nothing to do with us directly.

a few months ago, i would easily say that my life was everything i have ever wanted it to be at this point in time. i had it all. i was enjoying school, my dream of being a teacher was getting nearer, my home life was amazing, i loved my flat mates to the point that i wanted to spend every minute of the day with them.

i had 21st birthday celebrations & just general weekends on the piss to look forward to, even more so- my quarter century birthday party in august.. i've been planning to have a birthday bash at my flat and invite a select few to come and celebrate with my fab flatties. and now? now i don't want to be here at all. i want to go far far away and celebrate perhaps up north with my family.

this isn't what i originally signed up for, and yet i can't do much about it because it's not my battle to fight.

it's my flat-mate's 21st celebration this weekend, and what is meant to be a joyous occasion and a cloud of gloom hanging over it. i have been waiting for this night for so long. from when we worked together when she was at high school, to when my sister celebrated her 21st two years ago, i just couldn't wait for it. however, i am so sad. i can't even bare to be out in the lounge mingling with everyone- something i'm good at and live for.

i'm hurt and sad for both my flatties. so much so that as the friend boy and i got into another argument, (underlying issues we've just figured out always leads back to them) that i just burst into tear and ended up crying uncontrollably. he knew something was up when that happened, and then slowly got me to spill the guts on what was on my mind.

i'm not sure if i'm strong enough to do this anymore. i'm close to breaking point, and i'm worried about when i snap. i've had moments and the weekend has just begun. but it's not about me this weekend, it's her weekend and because i have crazy love i just have to harden up and compose myself until mid-week next week. it's not about me, it's all about her, and the least i can do is make sure that she has the time of her life with her friends and family.

what i really want to do is go back to the beginning of the year, when the weather was warm and life was good. instead it's freezing and life sucks.

the end.

FAIL-TRON..

ok i feel slightly better now. time to get a job and make some money. the end.

NEEDS A JOB.. URGENTLY.

so, pretty much life sucks and i've hit rock bottom. (again?!). here's the deal, i failed a pre-requist paper so basically i can't go to school on monday because i've been withdrawn from the rest of my course. FML. like actually. where to from here? i went into uni to fight it but they're not gonna budge. that means teaching dreams are on hold (i'm not letting those fuckers win, i'll be back.) and now i need to find work in wellington asap or else i'll get evicted. fuck the world. that's all.

JUST A BIG FUCK YOU IN GENERAL.

can you all stop updating your fucken faebook statuses about how you passed your exams and you'll be at uni on monday. and stop fucken writing on my wall about it too. i could hear gandalf the great hovering over me bellowing YOU SHALL NOT PASS during my exam, and it seems that he wasn't joking.

fuck you world, and fuck you exam marker person. if there was a fuck you song, i would be really good to insert it here.

*UP-DATE*...

we officially have the internet.. it's unlimited and wi-fi. yusssss. a quick heads up on what's been going on-

nau mai haere mai (welcome)
to our newest flatmate. thanks for connecting us back with the world and providing the internet.

half yearly sales in town
went home for the week and my mother bear hooked me up with new jeans, shoes, winter boots, and even a hair cut!

getting stranded in shannon
fucken sucked. all dressed up to attend a 21st in otaki and a 21st in wellington and the friend-boys car decided to break. had to call mother bear to come and save us. i was soooo not impressed with the world.

friends that actually come through
you guys are fucken awesome. i was so surprised at how much FUN i had, and how much i MISS the trashy clubs i used to frequent.

3 days of spin
i need to get back to the gym in the big city to get my zumba body back lolz

schools back in session
start back up on monday. holidays were not long enough at all. one exam result back already- an overall B for english. gutted it's not an A but happy it's not a C.