PARADE CAFE - WELLINGTON

i took him to parade cafe on oriental parade for lunch in celebration of his birthday. he liked it. so did i.

LETTING GO...

i've decided to spend my last few nights here at my aunty's.
after last nights break down, and the weeks events, i've finally let go and i woke up alot happier this morning. i haven't said anything to anyone. i'm waiting for my cousin to pick me up for family dinner. perfect time to load up the car and get outta here. you might say i'm running away, but i don't see it that way.

one thing is for sure, i've gotta get shit loads more out of my suitcase 'coz it's fucken heavy. (all those plastic bags are things that i'm leaving behind). and this time i truly haven't done ANY shopping for ANYONE..

WANTING YOU MORE...

i found something to fill my ears with :) thank you to my cousin for making this "our" song hahaha.. i'm sooo gonna miss this place damit.

PACK UP TIME...

This is the part I find the hardest to do. I’m meant to willingly pack my life up into one suitcase weighing 20kgs. Not my entire life, (obviously) but a significant part [that is coming to a close] none the less.

I began writing my thank-you cards to those who’ve looked after me while I’ve been here. It’s a really hard thing to do and not cry. Especially since I don’t want to leave.

4 more sleeps and I’ll be heading through airport security, boarding the plane, watching a really crap movie, patiently waiting for the seat belt sign to turn off, disembarking, buying duty free, waiting in the immigration line, & breezing through customs. Events that have become familiar to me this year.

Home coming is meant to be a happy occasion. But I always feel sad when I touch down in NZ, even more so when we hit the Palmy tarmac. Most probably because it means that my adventures have ended. Back to reality.

Reality sucks. Haha.

So does packing.

NOTHING TO FILL MY EARS WITH…

ARGHHHHH! I am like all jittery. I need to relax, and scrolling through my itunes library I can’t seem to find anything to calm me down. Not even my usuals that I blast to just bring me down a notch are working.

Does this mean I need new music? If so, then what?

It’s my last Friday on island. I was planning on a huge night out. I’ve got everything planned. Dress. Nails. Heels. Bag. Lipgloss colour to match. And this morning, 3 people pulled out. Which leaves 3 of us. But one is already on her way ‘coz she has issues at the moment that only drinking at 10am can solve, and the other just called up to say she woke up to a stranger (a married one at that) in her bed.

That leaves.. Oh just me.

I also need to squeeze all my family in too. Tomorrow is our usual family breakfast, which I’m sweet with. Then family dinner, (because my Uncle leaves for NZ early Sunday morning), which I’m also sweet as with. Sunday is “Lotu Tamaiti” or “White Sunday”. A big event with Samoans, and even more so, in Samoa. I’m booked to go to watch my cousin perform and his Samoan church, followed by tona’I (huge feast, always on Sundays.. Even bigger on White Sunday) at my Aunty and Uncles house, which is all good with me also.

My Aunty said that I could go and stay at their place for my last 2 nights on island.

I’m not too sure on this part of the plan.

I would really like to stay here, ‘coz well.. This is my home, ya know? But then I don’t wanna offend her by not staying at her place, ‘coz I’ve promised my little cousin that I will stay over “one day”.. However that day has never come and it’s time for me to leave.

Then I also have to factor in the other side of my family who I’m assuming would like to see me before I go, but I hear that I have cousins from the Hawkes Bay staying with them (and I don’t want to see those cousins).

I wanna keep my leaving as low key as possible at work too. As in, “see ya guys tomorrow” and then me not be here the next day haha. Especially since my house keeping cousin wants to give me all this stuff for my nana and hellz no am I taking that excess weight over with me. I know she can’t afford to get anything either, soooo I lied to her and said I was leaving in November haha.

I don’t want my 2009 adventure to end. This has been the hardest leg of my journey to say goodbye to (for lotsa different reasons). I have a bad feeling that I’m going to be sobbing like a big sook at the airport… I hate crying. I hate people who cry. I find myself hating me when I cry haha and then I cry at the fact that I let my guard down and actually cried infront of people. Confused? Yea I thought so. I am too. Lolz

This is a ramble and semi rant because I’m not ready to leave. Actually, I think I just don’t want to because after a year of “transition” I finally got my “gap year” and I small want every year to be a gap year.

I don’t want to be a grown up. Hahaha It sucks!

Im getting so sentimental over shit. This is so not me. I find myself getting teary watching shit on tv (like, the mass funeral service they broadcast for the tsunami victims) and even doing things like packing my bag.
Wow this is a really long blog. A thousand apologies.

I know I will be back, but it won’t be the same. I’ll be just another tourist who stays for 2 weeks and then fucks off again.
I haven’t even left yet, and I already miss the people, the place, and the lifestyle.

The End. (for now).

LAST THURSDAY ON ISLAND AND...

I’m totally hung over.

I feel like shit, and I’m at work. It’s actually a public holiday from mid-day because they’re having the funeral service for those who died in the Tsunami last Tuesday at Apia park, and so now the island is closed for the day. Except of course for us haha all my workers have gone home, and I’m in the office feeling like a rats ass.

Went to Edens Edge last night for a few quiets with the crew, and because a) I’m a light weight drinker, b) I was sleep deprived c) I hadn’t eaten since breakfast d) it was hot, I got insanely drunk and ended up vomiting at the Mcdonalds drive thru, at Pinati’s (takeaways that sell local food. Cheap as too!), and when the car finally stopped outside the hotel hahahaha

I’m the only one on at the hotel, and I’m chewing through a) internet cards and b) the bottled water and just juice at the kiosk.
I have vague memories of crying last night.. aaaaand talking about my sex life. Hmmm… Now I just have to remember what I said to who LMAO

This time next week I’ll be freezing my ass off in New Zealand. Lucky I opted for afew nights in Auckland before heading to Palmy, or I’d truly fall into a deep depression hahaha (Mainly because I’m jobless and I’m pretty sure my funds will run out pronto.) I need some steady income when I get back. God being a “grown up” is so gaybo sometimes.

Have a happy weekend blog!!

LETTER...

Dear Wardrobe,

I am coming home soon. I’m sorry for neglecting you for this long, I think it’s the longest we’ve been apart. Have you missed me? I don’t want to admit it, but sometimes I catch myself sitting and thinking about you.
I will bring back some goodies, like, The very best of the Eagles , Buena vista social club, and Eric Clapton unplugged, to name afew.

I don’t really want to come back, but I don’t want to live here forever either. So your job is to cheer me up.. Maybe we could get some new additions? That would make us both happy.
When I get back, we can have a few wines, put on some good music and play dress ups so that we can re-connect again.

Yours truly.

LEFT ALONE IN THE OFFICE...

equals ample time to waste surfing the net... loved her coat and thought of the cold i'll be heading back to at the end of next week. as i was sitting here feeling sorry for my tanned self, i found out she had a blog. what she wrote about anna wintour got a giggle outta me. i'm off to explore more. if you've got 5mins to waste. click here.

C*NTY GUESTS..

just had a regular guest call from the airport and say "hey, i'm bringing someone with me.. she's staying on island for 2 weeks.. have some cold beers ready for us."

what a dick.

we'd just sorted out the guest reservations so that this weekend we could have a big farewell to me and my deputy (who's also heading back for nz indefinitly).

now that's all gone out the window.

fuck this job. but hey, you just have to grin and bare it, no matter how tired you maybe.

not to mention one guest made a comment about not being able to tell if i was blushing or not when he was talking dirty. thanks you racist fuck. i'm brown, but not dark enough to not be able to turn red.

can't believe my time here is coming to an end.. even with cunty guests (yes, i said cunty) i am still gonna miss this place.

COCONUTS BEACH RESORT AND SINALEI THE SUNDAY BEFORE THE TSUNAMI...

i still can't believe it's all gone.

COCONUTS BEACH RESORT THE DAY AFTER THE TSUNAMI...

fish on land.. (it stinks over there)

to think i was sitting here, just days before..

CAMERA PHOTOS FROM TSUNAMI DAY...

view of next door from the deck in vailima

stalker guys on the back of the truck

the truck with the sleazy guys on it

dropping our office lady off

what can you do but enjoy a vailima beer?

sitting in the tray with one of our house keepers and office lady

ghost town at a usually busy petrol pump

pre-occupying guests by doing things like.. wash mumbo! (the car haha)

TSUNAMI...

I’ve been holding off posting about the tsunami, ‘coz even though on the day that all the sirens went off and we had to evacuate the motel twice (and I was sooo dying to blog about it) and I thought it was exciting at the time, I actually know people who have lost everything. Even family members. So I didn’t want to be like “woo hoo what an awesome time!” when serious stuff is going on around me…

As per usual, the media sensationalised it, saying the whole island was wiped out (or so people thought). As per usual, the only reason we knew what was going on was when family members from NZ would call and report what they were hearing.
The quake woke me up, but I remember thinking “hellz no am I getting outta bed.. it’s only 6.50.. my alarm goes off at 7.00”. So I rolled over and shut my eyes, even though I could hear things falling down around me haha.

When my alarm went off, I heard voices outside my room and lots of guests had rallied outside in the carpark and were heading back to their rooms. So I followed out my daily routine, and was just getting outta the shower when someone started banging on my door. I thought to myself “hello! I’ve only got a towel on!” but I answered to find my boss yelling, “get the car keys, it’s a tsunami warning!”. Looked at my truck and all our guests were pilled in the back haha. I was like, shit better get some clothes on then!

I drove like a crazy person (it was awesome.. I could justify my actions by saying I was protecting my guests and staff haha) We spent the entire day up at Vailima, sitting through lotsa tremors and listening to the Samoan radio of reports of what was going on. (interrupted by lotsa church hymns of course).

We have close friends that lived in a house between Coconuts Beach Resort and Sinalei Reef Resort. When the quake went for as long as it did, she grabbed her kids, got in the car and just drove to higher ground. 15mins later, the wave came. When she went back, everything was demolished, the only thing left was the concrete foundation of their house.

Last Friday my 8yr cousin went to his best friends funeral.

Tales such as the owner of one of the resorts trying to rescue children from the surf with her husband, and then the wave engulfing their truck which took her life but saved all the children are starting to emerge and I can’t imagine what their families are going through right now.

The speed of aid by NZ and Australia was [is] amazing. They came almost immediately. Samoa’s ties with Germany has meant that the German government has sent money, as has the Irish government (reason being the Samoan Arch Bishop went to school in Rome with the Irish Arch Bishop). Even Obama said they’d lend a hand after they re-build American Samoa.
What I’m worried about now, is how this aid is being given out to those who are in need. With the corruption of this governement, I worry that the money that is given in goodwill from people will be put to use elsewhere.

Take our close friends for instance. They are living with 20 others at their in-laws place, and yesterday they were given ½ a sack of rice by Samoan Government Aid… Meanwhile, each day we drive over (to give them food, gas for cooking etc) there a convoys of Aid Trucks filled with food, water, clothes, etc going in the same direction… Tell me where this is all going to?
I can just imagine the field day that the fat fuck of a prime minister of this island nation is having with all these “goodies”. Lots of locals are pissed off that their donations aren’t going to those who need it, so they’ve started to pack up their own trucks, drive over to the south coast, and look for complete strangers to give food, blankets, clothes etc to.
No offence, but I’m sorta tired of talking about it over and over and over again with people. Some amazing survival stories thought.

To the people of the South Coast, my heart goes out to you. I still haven’t made it all the way around because I don’t think I could handle driving past decomposed bodies washing up on the beaches that I was just at a few weekends ago, enjoying the sun, drinking cocktails, and tanning myself on.

To all the Aid workers, I commend you. To the Samoan governement, please don’t be cunts and deal with the issue in an orderly manner. Your people need you. Don’t let them lose faith.

To the New Zealand born Samoans who are all heading over to “help” with their families, do what you say you’re here to do. Don’t use it as an excuse to go out drinking, hook up and act like you’re a saint ‘coz your hear for the clean up, when your family is actually cleaning up after you.

To the looters from other villages. All I can say is “karma”.

Ok enough from me.

Over and out.